Old entry never posted: When do you know?

When do you know that the person you are with and want to spend the rest of your life with, feels the same about you? I sit here (whilst at a meeting) day dreaming about how that would make me feel and how I would know myself. It’s an odd question to me because I’ve never thought about anything like this. I mean who would have thought that this goddess would ever think about settling down? I am at awe as to how one person can change your whole life.

~written 03.07.14

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My Life Today

Hey good people. Since my fiancé proposed to me in March, my life has taken off. We picked a wedding date, venue, photographer and a lot of other little things.I’m happy to say that I am HAPPY to be marrying the love of my life. I never dreamt of being married or having children like most people do at a young age.  But I am happy to be in the place that I am today. I am grateful every moment of the day to know that my fiancé is right by my side…..

I’m engaged!

 A week ago I had the winter fantasy that I dreamed and have written about. We planned on going to a ski resort to go snow tubing and to my surprise my boo proposed to me.  I was completely shocked! I screamed and cried. She had to ask me if that meant yes. It of course did mean yes! My fiancé is the love of my life and I’m so grateful to have her in my life. I trust and love all of her and I can’t wait to be her wife!

  
 

Finding Myself Again

Hey beautiful people. It’s been so long since I’ve posted. My life has changed so much since my last post. The change has all been positive I just was not able to find the balance between who I am without the change. 

At work I have more responsibility and supervise a group of people. At home I’m now living with the love of my life. It’s interesting we moved in together and almost like chunks of time I had alone to do things for myself disappeared suddenly. I feel like losing yourself in someone is not healthy so I am struggling to find the things that used please me. 

Don’t get me wrong now because I’m happy. I just want to stay that way. I want to know that my interests will still be there and that I can reach out and be apart of them. If you didn’t know my interests include reading and writing blogs, listening to poetry, yoga, listening to podcasts, and watching vlogs. 

In the last month my spirit awoke with interest of these things again and I’ve been slowly reconnecting myself with this world. I’m excited to be back and I hope not to lose myself again. 

To Whom It May Concern.

Dear Former Lovers,

It’s has been so many years since our relationship. Although we’ve had time to forgive, possibly forget, and move on to new relationships, I’d like to take this time and apologize to you. I apologize that you think I am still interested in being anything more than a friend to you. I apologize that you think that you could still convince me to be with you when I’ve been over you for years.

If you respect me I ask that you please respect my current relationships and my past relationships. Please respect the decisions I make on who I want to be with now. Please understand that you have the right to talk badly, question our judgement, or have malicious intent for us if you like, but not in my presence or at the expense of my partner or me.

It was my mistake that I could think that we could actually be friends but clearly we cannot. It saddens me that we cannot remain friends but for me it is not possible. This is my goodbye to you… I wish you all well in the future and in all aspects of your life.

With Love,

E

Day 14

Day 14 — A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Dear Hero,

I’m not certain you know you are my hero but I wanted to take the time and talk to you. You’ve been an example for me and I appreciate that. I hope you know that I really look up to you but your decision making has disappointed me. I know we are all human and sometimes we make mistakes which means that you are not on this high pedal stool. I don’t want you to fall too hard. So I hope this was just a mistake on your part. I have the utmost respect for you so I hope we can both look past this and continue on our lives.

Love,

Evolving

Day 13

Day 13 — A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Dear Erykah (Badu), Tracy (Chapman), and India (Arie),

I know that I don’t know you all at all so I should be calling you miss or at least by your whole name but I feel like I know you all. You all have gotten me through some difficult times that resulted a mix of emotions. I would like to thank all of you for your awesome music. I cannot wait to see you all in concert again! Oh and if I had to choose you all to kill, marry, or fukc… This is my order:

India.Arie – I love you to death and that’s exactly what I’ll do is… kill you. You are so happy and inspirational but sometimes I just want to be sad, just for two seconds. I’ll still listen to your music though. See you on the other side.

Tracy Chapman – Oh I’ve waited for the day you would ask me! Don’t worry you just have to show up to the wedding. I’ll plan everything.

Erykah Badu – I will fukc you all day everyday! I’m the freaky type and so I figure I can get down with you.

Love,

Evolving

Day 10

Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

There is not anyone that I really need to let go of in my life. I also do not wish that I didn’t know anyone that I’ve met. I will say that in life people come in and leave for reasons that may not be know. But I’ve learned from friends, families, and lovers and would never wish them out of my existence. Now there are several people that were at some point in my life but may no longer be in my current life and that’s ok cause they aren’t meant to be in my present life.